My karma, Laurel

Laurel and I were discussing karma and jokingly saying how it seemed to hit us square between the eyes. Well some of you know the story about my ex at 62 doing a reverse mortgage on Our home. In fact I had sold my home which was paid for in order to build his dream home. We bought 5 acres with huge oak trees and a beautiful pond. That would have been fine except he built big buildings and convinced me he could build us a huge home for next to nothing. It ended up being more cost to live there than I ever dreamed. Our taxes on it alone were very high. So he takes early retirement at 62, and decides we can live off the reverse mortgage money until the housing market improved and we would sell it. The problem was I was not 62 so on the day we were to sign the papers I had to sell him the house for $10 in order to do this, I got that sick feeling in my stomach but ended up signing my rights away. Well that was the beginning of the end for us and he and his 40 year old son who lived with us treated me horrible. They were both emotionally abusive and his son was physically abusive to me. After 5 years I left the house to them and divorced him. He ended up staying there until he lost it from not being able to pay taxes or insurance on it. I had learned to accept my stupidity for what I had allowed to happen to me. But where the karma comes in is, now they are suing me for the house as I am a lien holder for the amount they gave him. I was like What!!!! After being told I didn’t own the house by everyone I am now responsible for the debt? Oh and get this  on it  they say he is deceased which he does have cancer but is not dead. But here I am living on $854 a month, with my son and his family cleaning, washing and keeping my grandkids whenever needed. Which I love them and do not mind but being disabled is very hard on me.  But now I have to pay for a lawyer to to represent me in this, just like I have had to do with all my credit cards he ran up saying when we sell the house I will pay them off. Yep karma has hit me over and over as I keep being sued repeatedly. And the worst of it is the shame I feel for not being able to pay my debt, I had worked my whole life hard to always  pay my way, had great credit. I hope this makes sense as I think faster than I should and don’t make sense most of the time.


20 comments

  1. Couldn’t click “like” on this one – there is nothing to actually like about the situation you are in. I am so sorry. But I do want to encourage you not to beat yourself up. I’ve been “used and abused” by a couple of my exes too, including my most recent and the only one I legally married, way back in grad school – and I finally had to let it go and stop replaying “what did I miss?” in my mind. There are simply some men who glom on to givers, and we never expect them to take ONLY – we can’t use the fact that some do as a sign to stop giving.

    We can’t live lives of quality if we are always waiting for someone to do us dirty, right? Go to the courthouse and get those papers – don’t wait for the next shoe to drop! Wash that man right outa’ your hair, as the song goes.
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
    ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

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  2. It always strikes me that whatever our best laid plans are, we can never predict nor control the future. Sometimes life (karma) makes choices for us and we are forced by its hand. What a terrible thing to have happened to you! I”m so sorry Ava. You certainly don’t deserve that.

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  3. I totally agree with Laurel. In fact, I’m separated at the moment and planning divorce. I made up my mind years ago, that I don’t care about the stuff…I had to let it go, so I decided I would handle any debts with a bankruptcy after divorce.

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  4. But you’ve done nothing wrong. If karma needs to go after anyone it would be him . What an absolute asshole. The idea that this person would basically steal from you once then try to do it again. I hate that there are so many bad villains in this world that we have to fight when we need to be resting, conserving energy to take care of our loved ones and ourselves. Im so sorry he is doing this

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  5. Ohhh dear Ava… so sad to hear this 😦 Before meeting my husband, there was a
    scumbag like that who nearly ruined my life… Thank the Lord for not allowing it!
    Guys of that sort just figure humble/meek women of integrity make easy targets 😛
    All I could do then was cut ties at all cost and trust the Lord to see me through…
    Praying you’ll soon be done with this nightmare! :-/ 💜 Jackie@KWH

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