It is really good when I have a manic episode! I am happy and more outgoing! I suddenly want to go out and have fun. I have gone out to eat with family in Galveston, celebrated my granddaughters 18th birthday at the Hard Rock Cafe and am attending a family reunion this weekend. So great times huh! Except if you have fribromyalsia. This is way more than I usually can do and by night time I am in severe pain. With the great times always come the exhaustion and pain, I have learned to have that stuff upper lip and keep on going. I am hoping I don’t hit the low point of depression after this high. I still have a powderpuff game to attend and my granddaughters graduation this month. But for now I don’t mind the pain (well a little), but I love feeling more alive with mania. I am hyper and can’t sit still for long, pain or not. HyperFribro is a difficult combination.😀
And how are you all doing???💜
Laurel and I were discussing karma and jokingly saying how it seemed to hit us square between the eyes. Well some of you know the story about my ex at 62 doing a reverse mortgage on Our home. In fact I had sold my home which was paid for in order to build his dream home. We bought 5 acres with huge oak trees and a beautiful pond. That would have been fine except he built big buildings and convinced me he could build us a huge home for next to nothing. It ended up being more cost to live there than I ever dreamed. Our taxes on it alone were very high. So he takes early retirement at 62, and decides we can live off the reverse mortgage money until the housing market improved and we would sell it. The problem was I was not 62 so on the day we were to sign the papers I had to sell him the house for $10 in order to do this, I got that sick feeling in my stomach but ended up signing my rights away. Well that was the beginning of the end for us and he and his 40 year old son who lived with us treated me horrible. They were both emotionally abusive and his son was physically abusive to me. After 5 years I left the house to them and divorced him. He ended up staying there until he lost it from not being able to pay taxes or insurance on it. I had learned to accept my stupidity for what I had allowed to happen to me. But where the karma comes in is, now they are suing me for the house as I am a lien holder for the amount they gave him. I was like What!!!! After being told I didn’t own the house by everyone I am now responsible for the debt? Oh and get this on it they say he is deceased which he does have cancer but is not dead. But here I am living on $854 a month, with my son and his family cleaning, washing and keeping my grandkids whenever needed. Which I love them and do not mind but being disabled is very hard on me. But now I have to pay for a lawyer to to represent me in this, just like I have had to do with all my credit cards he ran up saying when we sell the house I will pay them off. Yep karma has hit me over and over as I keep being sued repeatedly. And the worst of it is the shame I feel for not being able to pay my debt, I had worked my whole life hard to always pay my way, had great credit. I hope this makes sense as I think faster than I should and don’t make sense most of the time.
Good Friday is special to me and I hope it is to all of you. Jesus knew the plan of salvation for all of the believers meant suffering, pain and death for him. He knew we were all sinners and he hung on the Cross to pay for our sins and be forgiven if only we would believe in Him. If we choose to claim Him as our savior we will have everlasting life. That is why it is called Good Friday because Jesus loved us so much he gave his life so we might have live forevermore. I hope you enjoy your day tomorrow but I also hope you think of why it is a special day.
I finally got a new computer. But in the process had a name change. I will hopefully find all my old friends like Laurel wolves and Leslie and many other’s with mental and physical challenges like me. The most compassionate sweet people I know. I lost my old password and got this new computer with new name and email. Most of you knew me as Ava! So hopefully we can connect again!
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